Training has been really hard. It has also been really rewarding. Maybe three days ago i did the longest consecutive randoori i have ever done; at maybe 45 minutes or so. I was completely slaughtered afterwards. Every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I have Kanji tests. I have been sleeping on average around 5 hours a night. My body feels like it has gone through a mincer. My mind gives out in class around 10am every day. But i think i am through the worst of it; I survived two weeks of the training schedule. I have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off judo; I desperately needed it.
The format for the night trainings is usually the same; 30 min warm up, 90-115 minute randoori, and the rest are things like newaza drills and warm downs. I went to a shiai two days ago; it was held in the Nippon Budokan. That place looks completely metal from the outside; I wish I could have taken photos but my camera battery died before i could. Think of ninja, and samurai catching arrows on rooftops. A guy from Tokai won his division with some snappy throws, I think he would have been in the under 73's or so.I would have gone to the heavier divisions the next day, but had to study kanji, so i couldn't.
The approach to learning here seems to be quite simple; you learn by doing. I have been to one technical class; where a teacher explained something i couldn't follow to the class, but for the most part it has just been randoori. All of the players here were trained at Tokai highschools in various locations, so they would have already learned and be quite solid with their fundamentals. By comparison, i have been making a lot of noob errors. People help me out where they can; usually by holding my foot or arm and guiding it to where it needs to be.
I cannot compete with the Japanese hips; for me it can't be done. Its like trying to win a land war in Russia; a supercilious belief that you can will only lead you in the direction Napoleon and Hitler took. I am starting to understand the limits and advantages of my body. I can't drop under people; too giraffe-y. But at the same time, my arms are so long that when other players take their normal grips on me, they cannot break my balance the way that they could if i were a Japanese player. Sometimes, when the wind is blowing in the right direction, I can use my length to my advantage and surf their throws into a position for a counter. I'm doing more randoori in a day than i would probably do in a week back in Australia. This is gruelling, but awesome for my judo. By a process of trial and error i am starting to see what works. Since a training last week, after drinking a lot of gin the night before, i have deliberately been trying to move as if drunk. It is bizarre; but it seems to work. I have been throwing a small number of people like this. On the day that i trained hungover, i nearly landed my first hip throw in japan; a left handed o-goshi with a right handed grip; on a player that would have weighed maybe 65ks or so. He blocked it with his left hand, so evidently i didn't have the control part of the throw down, but for me even getting my hips into the position to hip throw a Japanese player is like trying to flip a coin, flat on the ground with a dog chew toy. Its just not the right tool for the job.
I concentrate hard on staggering and flowing as if drunk; and my body relaxes. Because i have lanky arms, i can flow through peoples grips this way. My problem is; the second i am in position for a throw; i recognize it, see the opportunity, and lock up in my body again in preparation for the throw. My opponent can easily feel what i intend, and steps off my technique. This problem is frustrating; but at the same time quite comforting, because it isolates my issue as a mental issue; to an area I can approach and work on. I have trained for years, felt i was getting worse, and not understood why. I asked my teacher; he said i asked too many questions, and looked too far into it. I felt i did not ask enough questions. I couldn't understand anything; how could you understand if you did not ask questions? I kept looking for
intricate explanations behind simple language like "relax", or "don't
lock up". It got really demoralizing investing more time into something i was going backwards in. As i didn't know why i was doing badly, it was only identifiable as incompetence. I was doing badly because i was shit at Judo.
Alcohol gives me mental advantages in judo, (or at least removes disadvantages) because it strips my mind of pretty much all ability except basic motor function. I often freeze in competition, because i try to analyze which of 6 throws is optimal in the situation i am in. I take too much time, and then that situation is gone. When i am too hungover to do this; I do better. My issue is learning to replicate this approach without alcohol. By staggering around, and not using linear strength, I can usually get through grips so far without issue. As of yet i cannot throw, as i spend too much time in indecision once i have actually broken my opponents balance. But even something as small as feeling my opponents balance is a massive improvement for me. A year ago, i would not have been able to do this; i was too tight in my muscle to be capable of it. Recently I saw on the sidelines, when i was between rounds, one guy talking to two others during training. i saw him take a standard grip on the guy he was talking to. Then he took another grip; with his head swaying while using a shifting stance. He was imitating me. I have no idea what he was saying. It could have been anything, it may have not been complimentary. But it did inflate my ego. Another guy came up to me, and asked what i had trained in, what my ranking was in Australia, and who taught me.
I feel that trying to learn Japanese Judo would be an implausible goal. I have only half a year, and don't have the time to drill uchikomi to the extent that all the other players have. If i did it 18 hours a day every day i still wouldn't catch up with the other students by Feburary. Instead; i feel my only option is to improvise something unconventional. This place is awesome; you get to try out any and every technique you can; so long as it is legal and safe. You can be statistically rigorous in your research; by a process of trial and error it is possible to identify the weakness and strengths of any chosen throw. This place is a judo laboratory; if i stick out the training i will gain a empirical understanding of what i can and cannot ask of my body. Using my current approach, i am starting to feel ko-uchi-gari. 6 months ago i thought i was too uncoordinated to land the timing of it. Now, i have found out that it wasn't that i was uncoordinated, it was that i was too tense.
I cannot catch a ball. I roll my ankles when i get out of bed in the morning. I am uniquely ungraceful. I tried learning judo the way i saw it, spent a lot of time trying to get my feet and hands doing the same thing that other people did. I couldn't do it, i still can't. I don't think i am built the same way others are. But at the same time, being different has its advantages. I have learned that i can roll my shoulders in such a way as to offer me a risky, but volitional escape from ude-hisigi-juji-katame. I have met one other person who could do this; she trained at Glasgow uni. Probably the best i have ever felt in Judo was for 3 months when i was training there: it was also a period where i was continuously hungover on Guinness; Tennetts, or whatever else was going in the hostel. I used to use cross grips quite a lot then. The bread and butter right handed ball-room grip doesn't work for me; the angles of my arms don't work when i try. A few days ago, by shutting down my upper body as if it were paralysed; i broke my opponents balance without taking a grip on him. A Vietnamese player in Australia once threw me like this; i thought it was completely amazing. I want to explore this kind of judo; and i am in the perfect place to do it.
There are guests from all over the world training in the club here. There is one guy from France; there were a few from Denmark; yesterday 2 guys from Brazil arrived. Ive been talking with a team from the UK. Everyone agrees that the standard of Judo here is quite good; and they all complain of the frigid reception they receive here. People avoid eye contact with foreigners; you have to Clint-Eastwood-In-Dirty-Harry-Style approach players for a go in randoori sometimes. One guy i was talking to was quite vociferous. He said he had been sent by the judo hierarchy in his country, and would not follow a request to return again unless it was for less than 10 days. He was bitter about how cold and unwelcoming he found the class to be. People here take their judo very seriously. I make a point of trying out my Japanese whenever someone skillfully throws me (which is pretty much continually). About 1 in 5 people I speak to smile and respond; the other 4 barely respond or ignore that i spoke. I am beginning to learn that Japanese culture is riddled with invisible fault lines underneath the surface. If a kouhai thinks that by agreeing to randoori with you, he would prevent a sempai from being able to train; he will deny you the randoori out of fear of causing unnecessary embarrassment or disrespect to superiors. In my opinion, if someone wont give another the time of day in Australia for a few short minutes of randoori; it usually stems from arrogance or a superiority complex. Here; in Japan; it seems to stem from embarrassment; no one wants to trod on a superior's toes by denying them something they might be entitled to. This is invisible to most of the guests here; they dismiss it as racism. And definitely; there are racist sentiments here. I walked out of the change room; someone shouted "Gaijin!", and so i turned expecting a conversation, but it was a statement and not a greeting. But my opinion is, if I; some stranger who has just walked in off the street, can ask the head teacher to train, at one of Japan's more prestigious judo clubs, and be welcome to do so, then surely something must be said for that.
I have friends who have just graduated in law. I have met many others. I keep hearing the same story; that after finishing the degree; they struggle to bear the pressure of working as a subordinate in a law firm. Some law firms have a culture of working their fresh entrants over 50 or 60 hours a week. This scares me; but not as much as the concept of graduating; working, and then finding out that i am not cut out for the lifestyle. I would lose my direction in life and drift aimlessly. I get stressed ordering my coffee in the morning; once in judo training; the day after an exam i sat in the corner in the fetal position until someone commented on it. I'm pretty highly strung; often it takes me several alcoholic drinks to relax and speak sincerely to friends. I know and understand law is stressful; i did not choose it with the intention of being comfortable. The same applies of Judo. Feelings of alienation, stress, loneliness, frustration and hopelessness are common for me in both a judo and legal classroom. I do not want to avoid these challenges; I want to overcome them. Even if i make no friends; suffer through bitter trials and leave having learned little; this experience will be valuable for me if i want to work as a lawyer. I would like to learn and understand how to interact within Japanese culture; but even if i cannot I will leave here with a better understanding of my own psychological limits. Framing my difficulties in this way helps, as i can see that continuing the training is a win-win scenario regardless of how jaded a lens i view it through.
Monday 29 September 2014
Monday 22 September 2014
Tokai's training regime; an old stinking highschool gym mat as a analogy, or why i love doing judo hungover.
So i ran today. I thought i was going to the gym; but apparently if you are over 77kgs you are supposed to alternate between running exercises and gym work every second day or so. it usually goes for an hour and starts at 7am. I found the place we were starting the run from; the judo students have their own dormitory relatively near to the supermarket and train station. The place is pretty easily recognizable, because of all the judo suits hanging out of the window. We all lined up, and bowed. Without a dyed bit of cloth around your waist it gets very unclear where you are supposed to position yourself for an organized bow, so i just tried to blend in the back as unobtrusively as possible.
We ran for maybe 40 minutes or so at a moderate pace. The scenery was kinda nice; we got out of town for a bit. There were what looked like rice fields; or some kind of grain anyway. Everyone doing the run was over 77kg, some maybe 40ks over. I found out that not being absolutely stacked like everyone else meant that i can run for longer than the average player seemed to be able to. People seemed to struggle to drag their guns around; i didn't have that problem. It turns out a Australian student diet has given me some physical advantages after all. It's a shame that being light and scrawny is useless in judo. Then we started doing some hill sprints. All the other students started kata garuma-ing each other up the hill. I didn't get a partner, so i sprinted up the hill instead maybe 5 or so times.
For the weights session; they turn you loose in the Tokai University gym. I was hoping for some kind of program; and maybe there was one, but it was properly beyond my level of Japanese to understand what it was. They have old suits you can chuck over chin up bars so you can work your arms and grips at the same time. Rocky montage! I just did some random things i could think of; i had no real idea what i was doing. Back in the day i was a member of Jetts. Jetts gyms are very sanitary; no risk. Here, no one seemed to bother using a towel for the equipment. There was a fair bit of sweat on everything. You could just walk up to a barbell; whack 100kgs on it, and lift it over your head if you could, or if you wanted to. I neither could or wanted to; I have no idea how honest my insurance policy is. I asked a friend back in Australia what i ought to do; he does judo; used to hammerthrow for Scotland at a highly competitive level, and is now a physiotherapist. His seems like the opinion to ask for if you want to learn how to throw people like they were metal projectiles.
I used to date a Singaporean; I asked him what the draft was like. He said it was really indulgent; he got to switch his brain off for a year. Everything he did for that time was decided by someone else, and he had no responsibility or mental burden for his actions; so long as they were the right ones. To me, training in a strict regimen, enforced by a large group seems much easier than doing it on your lonesome. I had some friends from judo ask if we could start doing some exercises in the park; i never got around to committing to it. With only two others, and no social pressure, there was no way i was going to get out of bed for it. Conversely, here i can drag myself out of bed after a heavy night of gin and tonics, and 3 hours sleep, for running drills (this is terrible for Japanese class; i do not recommend it).
Last week on the Friday; there was a bomb threat at my uni. All our classes were cancelled so we got to go back to the dormitory and begin the weekend. I turned up for judo but no one else was there. I asked the one guy that was there if classes were on; he said no; and that they were probably not on the next day either. I took this as my get-out-of-jail-free card. Me and a few friends from the dormitory went to Honatsugi for a nomihoudai. I thought it was going to be like a sizzler salad bar; except with beer taps. I was wrong, it was table service, not a "buffet" as i imagined. They kept serving us drinks after we payed the entrance charge. We proceeded to get nicely inebriated. I learnt that the korean word for "cheers" is "ganbe" (said like "gun bear" but without the A or the R). We ended up around our uni, drank some more. Went to a jazz bar; i asked them if they had Miles Davis; they did. Filthy jazz, cigarettes and Guiness; good for your soul. I asked them to play "Tempus Fugit" but they didn't have it; I really wish someone would cover it as a metal song. Went to bed around 5.
In the dormitory is a Canadian exchange student, with very tidy judo technique. He woke me up at 8 by putting a set of earphones next to my head. Took me a while to reboot into consciousness. Didn't really get what he said; must've been something along the lines of "get up you lazy bastard; Judo's on!" Had a somewhat delayed mental calculation.
1. Oh shit; Judo is on today.
2. Do i want to go?
3. There is no possible way i can get out of this.
4. Alright.
Chucked my shoes into the shoe box, and stumbled onto the mat. We started our rolls. I did the one where your head goes directly underneath you and you roll over it like a gymnast; my brain seemed to slosh around in my skull. There seemed to be a .5 second lag between what was going on and my mental recognition of it. I cracked a grin. This training was going to be interesting. One of the best competitions i have ever done, i was in this state after drinking vodka the night before. I wanted to forget how horrible my criminal assignment was.
They started randoori; the head teacher gave me a colored belt. I was a marked man; this meant that i was up for each randoori until it was time to take it off; you didn't get the option of resting after each round. Each belt change was usually around 25 minutes or so of consecutive randoori, with maybe 5 minute rounds. Out of sympathy; they put me into the area where the players with lower body weights were training. Everyone was bullet fast. Some of the really good players had landed their second attack on me by the time i had recognized the first. I had one advantage though; I got completely hammered the night before.
For years; at judo training, in one way or another, all the teachers have been telling me to relax while doing judo. I have never got the concept; i still don't. Why would i relax? I came here to learn how to throw people, and someone might throw me. Relaxation was something you did on the beach with a beer in your hand; you didn't relax in a dojo. I might land on my kneck. No one wants that. I wanted to train as hard as i could until it stopped being so hard.
In my experience if you can't chill out and take throws as a learning experience, you lock up in your mind. You can't face the possibility of being thrown; you avoid it at all costs. You do everything you can in training to prevent being thrown; because that's what judo is, right? Throwing someone else and not being thrown yourself? This attitude has led me to the most demoralizing low in judo i have ever been to. Because I was afraid of a beating; my body locked up. I became stiff and rigid. Moving like this for even a few minutes is completely exhausting. And its also how you get injured. You get tired; do something stupid and end up paying for it. My shoulder still clicks on demand because i tried to break a fall from soto makikomi with a flat arm. And because I got this mental connection between pain and being thrown; it only spiraled downward and got worse; i locked up even tighter as i became more afraid of being thrown.
Indulge me, let me use some convoluted analogies. I'm sorry, but i'm having fun here. Imagine a nice, decent quality hardwood door. Its polished, its gleaming, it looks the part. You throw it off a 2 storey building; it shatters into matchsticks. Now imagine a filthy high school gym mat that's been used since the 80's in an underfunded institution. It stinks like urine; you get the impression that rats have eaten out the padding in the middle and started a nest inside it. You throw it off a 2 storey building; its fine, or at least you can't say that it is any worse than it was before. When i drink too much the night before; i am too worried about my stomach and sore head to really mind being thrown all that much. My body becomes floppy; and i bounce back up after throws.
Here's my second analogy. Imagine that same hardwood door. Imagine driving your shoulder through it; lets say you're a Tekken character or something. It lands in pieces on the floor. Now imagine the gym mat. It bends around your force, and wraps you up inside it. Whatever oily residue was staining the outside of it, now its all over you. You lose balance in it because it somehow tangled into your legs. Its a real pain in the arse getting out of it too; because the way the rats have eaten the inside of it; it has too much give in it to be a gym mat anymore. It feels like being eaten by old carpet. Recently, i had two judo competitions. The first was much better than the second one. My teacher graded me because of them. The first time; i drank 700 mls or so of vodka the night before, the 2nd time, i did the same thing to chase the same physical reaction. I moved like an animated sack full of dirty socks. Its not pretty to look at; but i can feel people trying to unbalance me when i am in this state. When i sleep well, don't drink and wake up fresh, i care so much about doing well that i end up mentally blocking myself from performing, lock up, and am so tense in my body i cannot feel my opponents intentions until after i have been thrown. After a hard nights drinking; my body doesn't seem to offer much resistance, and i can squish myself into positions i couldn't otherwise. Half jokingly, but not without sincerity; i asked my teacher if i ought to only wear my belt if i was hungover. He laughed, apparently it doesn't work that way. But without any hyperbole, i can truthfully tell you the quickest ippon i have ever done was when i was so hungover i was struggling to speak. I have never done anything comparable without alcohol.
So anyways; Tokai judo training. I have an uneven stumbling flow to my movements. One round i had, i managed to throw a guy maybe 6 or 7 times. Of course, he threw me many more times than that, and was at least 10kgs under me. But it was easily the best randoori i had done yet in japan. Another guy, i got him in a gravity surfing O soto gari. Ok, one last analogy, then i'm done. So i've heard that when NASA fling machinery to distant worlds; they have to calculate complicated trajectories to get them there. Its going to become painfully obvious that i know nothing of physics, but oh well. To get a probe from A to B, NASA uses the gravity of nearby planets to slingshot their probes around the outside orbit. When the probe arrives at its destination planet, it must enter at the right angle. The curve has to enter the atmosphere at an angle gentle enough for its heat shields to deal with the pressure. If the angle's too gentle however, it just ends up burning up because its cutting through more atmosphere than it needs to.
Back to reality. I got a swinging O soto gari on a pretty skilled player. I warped my body around the gravity of his attacks. When i saw the opening for my attack, i curved myself around and chased into him, at an angle gentle enough to avoid exploding on impact with his grip, but not so gentle as to end up with my back foot exposed and being dropped in tanae otoshi or something. I got him it. It wasn't pretty or anything, but I'm still patting myself on the back over it. Needless to say after that i probably didn't remain standing in that round for 5 consecutive seconds. But i feel that i can add to the number i can count on one hand; the number of times i have actually done judo in my life as opposed to some cheap imitation.
We finished up, and i struggled to find my shoes. I forgot where i put them; it took me some time to realize that i had brought different ones that i normally do. Today I went to judo, freshly rested, and probably did less than half as well. It sucks; i don't really want to become an alcoholic but at the same time it gets really tempting when i feel that a decent throw is just a night out away. One day i will figure out what this elusive "relax" means, but in the meantime i have other substitutes.
Thursday 18 September 2014
4th training... getting the stones to have a go.
I couldn't sleep again last night. I had told some people from Judo that i would come to their weights session at 6.45 in the morning. I went to bed at 11, but probably didn't sleep until 5. I woke for my alarm at 6 and chickened out. Since i started doing Judo here, i feel like i have the flu. I have experienced this before, its what happens when your body adjusts to a radically different physical regimen. My joints hurt, my neck hurts from bridging. I nearly fell asleep in the computer login introduction class at my uni. All you would need to do is attach a stuffy nose to my condition, and any doctor would prescribe bed rest to it. So 6am came, after i had slept one hour, and i chickened out. I slept from then until 10, i cant remember what i dreamed about, but i remember that the common theme amongst all the dreams i had was failure.
I had the day off. We had had our orientation classes for Japanese the day before. I understood the nouns spoken in class, that was about it. Today was all free time, at least until i had the 5pm randoori. I used the time to go buy some things i needed, surfed the internet; wasted time. Nothing exiting.
I went to judo. I think that the quality of their judo in randoori is better than most competitions i have seen at home. That being said, i have not been to many of the more skilled matches, but i saw some awesome combination and counter techniques tonight. Textbook drop seoi nages, precisely timed o soto garis to sasae tsuri komi goshis. Again i stood off to the side, waiting to be called onto the mat by someone sympathetic. The call never came.
I did not work for a homophobe who refused to pay me minimum wage, trying to save money for this, finally scraping enough money together to make it happen; so i could stand by nervous and withdrawn, watching the opportunity of my life pass me by. After about 1 1/2 hours of this, I asked someone next to me if they wanted to go with me for the next randoori. He looked kinda embarrased, but said yes. I couldn't throw him, he had been thrashed around like laundry in the dryer for 1 1/2 hours, I was lacking in technique. Those things considered, it was a pretty even pairing, and we finished without really gaining an advantage over each other. I asked the same question of another guy, again he looked embarrassed but said yes. I threw him in a dirty sumigaeshi, he threw me in a pretty tidy tai otoshi. Leaving training, i was left with the impression that this place would be what i made of it. I needed to take responsibility and ownership over my own learning. The worst someone could say if i asked them to go for randoori was no. It made me decide that i must commit to sincerely communicate to others that i want to learn, even if i could not do it correctly or grammatically.
This train of thought led me to decide that i must also commit to who i am. I have lived too long in indecision. I am gay. I was drawn to judo because i wanted to prove to others that i was worthy, that with training i could be capable of doing what anyone else could do. Since then, my opinion has changed. I no longer believe that there is anything that any one person can do that will make another respect them. People respect others for the sole reason that they want to. People do not attach their respect to qualities that exist in other people. In my opinion, person A respects person B because in person B; person A sees an invitation to recognize something that they want, and gain from, by respecting person B. Its an inherently self interested process. Trying to win respect essentially is like trying to control anothers mind. You cannot intervene in what people want to respect in others.
I will never be capable, and never want to, compel respect from anyone. There was a point in my life where i did think i wanted this, but this was before i understood what the word meant. I may have started judo to prove myself to others; but i am at Tokai University for me. I continued at judo for me. I have had arguments with a guy i was dating about outing myself to my judo club. I explained to him that i didn't want to fix something that wasn't broken. He argued back that i was living under a false identity. I didn't want to create problems for myself or my club. He asked me why did i want to continue meeting people that might reject me if i told them the truth, I couldn't really explain to him that what i have already gained from judo justified it all.
Once i learned to cast off others opinions as unhelpful as a yardstick for my own personal development, i was faced with a rather daunting question. Do you want to train like this, for yourself? At the pace you are learning at; being capable of doing one half respectable throw every 6 months, is it worth it to put up with the pain, the loneliness, the deceit? I struggle to answer that question. Every few months or so i seriously consider quitting. But i have the will now, and so i want to continue. And i want to stop omitting details about my life. I hope these two sentences are not contradictory. I have committed to the possibility that they might be. I have made many friends at judo, known them all for years, and yet feel a stranger to all of them. I am tired of being a stranger.
I had the day off. We had had our orientation classes for Japanese the day before. I understood the nouns spoken in class, that was about it. Today was all free time, at least until i had the 5pm randoori. I used the time to go buy some things i needed, surfed the internet; wasted time. Nothing exiting.
I went to judo. I think that the quality of their judo in randoori is better than most competitions i have seen at home. That being said, i have not been to many of the more skilled matches, but i saw some awesome combination and counter techniques tonight. Textbook drop seoi nages, precisely timed o soto garis to sasae tsuri komi goshis. Again i stood off to the side, waiting to be called onto the mat by someone sympathetic. The call never came.
I did not work for a homophobe who refused to pay me minimum wage, trying to save money for this, finally scraping enough money together to make it happen; so i could stand by nervous and withdrawn, watching the opportunity of my life pass me by. After about 1 1/2 hours of this, I asked someone next to me if they wanted to go with me for the next randoori. He looked kinda embarrased, but said yes. I couldn't throw him, he had been thrashed around like laundry in the dryer for 1 1/2 hours, I was lacking in technique. Those things considered, it was a pretty even pairing, and we finished without really gaining an advantage over each other. I asked the same question of another guy, again he looked embarrassed but said yes. I threw him in a dirty sumigaeshi, he threw me in a pretty tidy tai otoshi. Leaving training, i was left with the impression that this place would be what i made of it. I needed to take responsibility and ownership over my own learning. The worst someone could say if i asked them to go for randoori was no. It made me decide that i must commit to sincerely communicate to others that i want to learn, even if i could not do it correctly or grammatically.
This train of thought led me to decide that i must also commit to who i am. I have lived too long in indecision. I am gay. I was drawn to judo because i wanted to prove to others that i was worthy, that with training i could be capable of doing what anyone else could do. Since then, my opinion has changed. I no longer believe that there is anything that any one person can do that will make another respect them. People respect others for the sole reason that they want to. People do not attach their respect to qualities that exist in other people. In my opinion, person A respects person B because in person B; person A sees an invitation to recognize something that they want, and gain from, by respecting person B. Its an inherently self interested process. Trying to win respect essentially is like trying to control anothers mind. You cannot intervene in what people want to respect in others.
I will never be capable, and never want to, compel respect from anyone. There was a point in my life where i did think i wanted this, but this was before i understood what the word meant. I may have started judo to prove myself to others; but i am at Tokai University for me. I continued at judo for me. I have had arguments with a guy i was dating about outing myself to my judo club. I explained to him that i didn't want to fix something that wasn't broken. He argued back that i was living under a false identity. I didn't want to create problems for myself or my club. He asked me why did i want to continue meeting people that might reject me if i told them the truth, I couldn't really explain to him that what i have already gained from judo justified it all.
Once i learned to cast off others opinions as unhelpful as a yardstick for my own personal development, i was faced with a rather daunting question. Do you want to train like this, for yourself? At the pace you are learning at; being capable of doing one half respectable throw every 6 months, is it worth it to put up with the pain, the loneliness, the deceit? I struggle to answer that question. Every few months or so i seriously consider quitting. But i have the will now, and so i want to continue. And i want to stop omitting details about my life. I hope these two sentences are not contradictory. I have committed to the possibility that they might be. I have made many friends at judo, known them all for years, and yet feel a stranger to all of them. I am tired of being a stranger.
Tuesday 16 September 2014
First training.
I couldn't sleep last night. I was too nervous. I had a interview to do with my teachers in the morning, and my first training in the afternoon. I kept getting up to get water, afraid that i would be dehydrated the next day. I might have slept maybe an hour or so. I got breakfast at a ramen place i hadn't been into before. I walked in and said...
"Good night!"
(shopkeeper).....
"Excuse me, wrong word. Good morning"
The food was quite good. I got some gyoza too. I remember thinking that i had better start judo soon because i would get hideously fat if i didn't. I paid and walked out. On the way from the store to my uni, i found a pachinko ball in the gutter. I took it as a good omen. My favorite martial arts book (Angry White Pyjamas) starts with the author finding pachinko balls in the street. I found only one, he found several. Maybe thats significant....? anyway.
So i went to the meeting spot, and had to wait around for maybe a hour or so before i got called in for my interview. Think of the panel of judges in Flashdance. They asked me questions, i answered what i could, and said "sorry, once more please" a lot. They asked me why i wanted to learn Japanese;
"In my situation, major is law. However, marks are evil. If i learn foreign language, easy to look for job"
It was beyond my vocabulary to explain that i didn't expect job handouts to fall at my feet if i could order my own lunch at a restaurant. They got me to read aloud from a textbook, and decided it was the right fit for me. The classes are split into 10, 1 being the highest. I got allocated the 6th class.
After all this i was feeling pretty wiped out, so i went to bed. I wanted to rest up for training. I woke up, got ready, and got out of the dormitory. I left maybe an hour early, even though my dorm is probably 150 metres away from the judo training hall. I was freaking out about being late, or not performing some sort of courtesy gesture like sweeping the tatami mats. I had seen students sweeping the mats for maybe 30 mins before and after the trainings i had watched. I paced around uni, listened to music, felt stressed, and wondered why i had chosen to do this. And my training song came on over my ipod.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z4cLmbw6q0
I really like the patient optimism in this song. It feels like working towards something you want; knowing that the end result is worth it. It helped me focus on the goal over the immediate challenge. It got me calm enough to walk into the dojo. I asked someone if it was ok if i trained (or at least i tried to ask and they figured out what i meant.) One guy seemed to get me and said it should be ok, but when the teacher arrived i would need to ask him. Sweet! I went and got changed and went on.
Their warm up is maybe 30 mins long. It looks pretty standard; rolling ukemi, uchikomi, ect. There were a few extra things that they did as well though. Everyone started walking on their hands in a handstand across the mat. I couldn't do it, as much as i tried. Then they got thin ropes out, and divided the room into two, splitting the training into higher and lower weight divisions.
Then they started randoori (kinda like sparring.). 2 hours of it. It was very hard for me, but not as hard as i thought it would be. For most of the time, i was standing off to the side looking like the new kid on his first day at school. I didn't have all that many rounds. Each one was for 5 minutes, then they would whack this big drum, and you would change to another person. There wasn't enough room on the tatami for everyone to train, so it was quite easy to take a break if you wanted or needed it. I looked around a lot, and definetly appeared confused. One of the students i had asked questions before, he came and grabbed me; apparently the head teacher had arrived. I went up to him, drenched in sweat, and sheepishly asked if it would be alright if i trained. I didn't really get what he said, but it was probably something along the lines of "Yeah? Your asking me now? You sure well thought it was ok when you came on an hour ago." We spoke for a bit, he asked me how long i had been doing judo for. I answered "6 year". He said it was alright.
My first round was with this guy called Oono; Big Field. Massive field. He would have had to have weighed over 120 kg. He had the opportunity to smash me in harae goshi and didn't; he gently dropped me in it. I was very grateful, i had heard all these horror stories of having to survive the first few weeks to prove that you were serious, &ct. No one wanted to belt me.
My lungs have gotten soggy. There was a point, probably a few years ago, when i went mad and started training 6 days a week. My judo turned to rubbish because i got so strong, i didn't need technique anymore. By my own fitness as a reference, i was very fit then. By comparison, tonight my lungs started to shut down after maybe the 4th or 5th 5 minute round. I think the training is intended to destroy your strength so you have only technique to rely on to throw other players. It sucks if you never had any technique to begin with though. I got maybe two or three dirty sumi gaeshis on, but for the most part got thrown every 20 seconds or so. The mats here are amazing; you don't feel it at all.
Then i got asked to tie on a coloured belt. This was to mark you as having to stay on after each randoori finished. You had to stay on and go for another round against someone else, while your old partner got to rest if they wanted . I got thrown really well by some lighter players in tanae otoshi. I kept trying my smearing sumi gaeshi but it didn't really amount to much. I ducked out for a bit because my finger started bleeding; Ive noticed here that they really freak out if they see blood. The second someone sees a slightly bleeding finger they run off to tape it up. I think it probably has to do with keeping the suits clean. Also tonight another insect flew into the mat, and people looked considerably nervous. Is there something i am missing here? Is it venomous? No idea. But my first impression is; Awesome judo, aversion to blood and moths.
After we finished, we had to bow off. They lined us all up. I had to line up at the side as a guest. We knelt and did the whole "mokuso" thing. Its a thing in Japanese martial arts where someone bellows at you to calmly consider what you have learnt that day.
I got asked to come to a newaza session by some other students at 7 am the next day (well, i didnt really get asked, told is probably more accurate). I've always fancied my groundwork, i defer to it whenever i can. Tonight, i tried my usual game and got quickly beaten by everyone. I might take them up on that offer/command.
Dinner was a raw egg cracked over some sort of beef concoction, rice, and beer. I really needed to pee, so i went into the pachinko parlour to use the bathroom. In the urinal, they have this game, where it measures how much you urinate, and shows it to you on a screen in front of your face, represented by a cupid statue urinating into some kinda brand of canned coffee. Pretty weird. It got me thinking though; i could get all Ewan Macregor in "The Island" on this. I will never freak out about hydration again if i know how much i have drank and how much i have peed. Everyone at this university is so ripped, it really motivates you to have a go and working towards their example.
And now i gotta go to bed because i have to get strangled next morning! I am living the life i chose.
"Good night!"
(shopkeeper).....
"Excuse me, wrong word. Good morning"
The food was quite good. I got some gyoza too. I remember thinking that i had better start judo soon because i would get hideously fat if i didn't. I paid and walked out. On the way from the store to my uni, i found a pachinko ball in the gutter. I took it as a good omen. My favorite martial arts book (Angry White Pyjamas) starts with the author finding pachinko balls in the street. I found only one, he found several. Maybe thats significant....? anyway.
So i went to the meeting spot, and had to wait around for maybe a hour or so before i got called in for my interview. Think of the panel of judges in Flashdance. They asked me questions, i answered what i could, and said "sorry, once more please" a lot. They asked me why i wanted to learn Japanese;
"In my situation, major is law. However, marks are evil. If i learn foreign language, easy to look for job"
It was beyond my vocabulary to explain that i didn't expect job handouts to fall at my feet if i could order my own lunch at a restaurant. They got me to read aloud from a textbook, and decided it was the right fit for me. The classes are split into 10, 1 being the highest. I got allocated the 6th class.
After all this i was feeling pretty wiped out, so i went to bed. I wanted to rest up for training. I woke up, got ready, and got out of the dormitory. I left maybe an hour early, even though my dorm is probably 150 metres away from the judo training hall. I was freaking out about being late, or not performing some sort of courtesy gesture like sweeping the tatami mats. I had seen students sweeping the mats for maybe 30 mins before and after the trainings i had watched. I paced around uni, listened to music, felt stressed, and wondered why i had chosen to do this. And my training song came on over my ipod.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z4cLmbw6q0
I really like the patient optimism in this song. It feels like working towards something you want; knowing that the end result is worth it. It helped me focus on the goal over the immediate challenge. It got me calm enough to walk into the dojo. I asked someone if it was ok if i trained (or at least i tried to ask and they figured out what i meant.) One guy seemed to get me and said it should be ok, but when the teacher arrived i would need to ask him. Sweet! I went and got changed and went on.
Their warm up is maybe 30 mins long. It looks pretty standard; rolling ukemi, uchikomi, ect. There were a few extra things that they did as well though. Everyone started walking on their hands in a handstand across the mat. I couldn't do it, as much as i tried. Then they got thin ropes out, and divided the room into two, splitting the training into higher and lower weight divisions.
Then they started randoori (kinda like sparring.). 2 hours of it. It was very hard for me, but not as hard as i thought it would be. For most of the time, i was standing off to the side looking like the new kid on his first day at school. I didn't have all that many rounds. Each one was for 5 minutes, then they would whack this big drum, and you would change to another person. There wasn't enough room on the tatami for everyone to train, so it was quite easy to take a break if you wanted or needed it. I looked around a lot, and definetly appeared confused. One of the students i had asked questions before, he came and grabbed me; apparently the head teacher had arrived. I went up to him, drenched in sweat, and sheepishly asked if it would be alright if i trained. I didn't really get what he said, but it was probably something along the lines of "Yeah? Your asking me now? You sure well thought it was ok when you came on an hour ago." We spoke for a bit, he asked me how long i had been doing judo for. I answered "6 year". He said it was alright.
My first round was with this guy called Oono; Big Field. Massive field. He would have had to have weighed over 120 kg. He had the opportunity to smash me in harae goshi and didn't; he gently dropped me in it. I was very grateful, i had heard all these horror stories of having to survive the first few weeks to prove that you were serious, &ct. No one wanted to belt me.
My lungs have gotten soggy. There was a point, probably a few years ago, when i went mad and started training 6 days a week. My judo turned to rubbish because i got so strong, i didn't need technique anymore. By my own fitness as a reference, i was very fit then. By comparison, tonight my lungs started to shut down after maybe the 4th or 5th 5 minute round. I think the training is intended to destroy your strength so you have only technique to rely on to throw other players. It sucks if you never had any technique to begin with though. I got maybe two or three dirty sumi gaeshis on, but for the most part got thrown every 20 seconds or so. The mats here are amazing; you don't feel it at all.
Then i got asked to tie on a coloured belt. This was to mark you as having to stay on after each randoori finished. You had to stay on and go for another round against someone else, while your old partner got to rest if they wanted . I got thrown really well by some lighter players in tanae otoshi. I kept trying my smearing sumi gaeshi but it didn't really amount to much. I ducked out for a bit because my finger started bleeding; Ive noticed here that they really freak out if they see blood. The second someone sees a slightly bleeding finger they run off to tape it up. I think it probably has to do with keeping the suits clean. Also tonight another insect flew into the mat, and people looked considerably nervous. Is there something i am missing here? Is it venomous? No idea. But my first impression is; Awesome judo, aversion to blood and moths.
After we finished, we had to bow off. They lined us all up. I had to line up at the side as a guest. We knelt and did the whole "mokuso" thing. Its a thing in Japanese martial arts where someone bellows at you to calmly consider what you have learnt that day.
I got asked to come to a newaza session by some other students at 7 am the next day (well, i didnt really get asked, told is probably more accurate). I've always fancied my groundwork, i defer to it whenever i can. Tonight, i tried my usual game and got quickly beaten by everyone. I might take them up on that offer/command.
Dinner was a raw egg cracked over some sort of beef concoction, rice, and beer. I really needed to pee, so i went into the pachinko parlour to use the bathroom. In the urinal, they have this game, where it measures how much you urinate, and shows it to you on a screen in front of your face, represented by a cupid statue urinating into some kinda brand of canned coffee. Pretty weird. It got me thinking though; i could get all Ewan Macregor in "The Island" on this. I will never freak out about hydration again if i know how much i have drank and how much i have peed. Everyone at this university is so ripped, it really motivates you to have a go and working towards their example.
And now i gotta go to bed because i have to get strangled next morning! I am living the life i chose.
Sunday 14 September 2014
First few days at Tokai.
I caught the train from Shinjuku, and rode to my uni's stop. It's called "Front of Tokai University Station". That was the first sign i got that my uni might be much more prestigious than i thought. Evidently my host Uni is a bit of a thing if train stations are named after it. UQ doesnt have anything like that. Anyway, i was carrying maybe 25 kg's of luggage, stumbling up the hill to get to my dormitory. I was following the map i was given to get to my campus. The first thing, the very first thing i found when i got to the border of the campus was this billboard.
I can't read Japanese well enough to tell you whats going on in this poster, but i think i can read "men's judo department" and "All Japan Student Judo".... something something. Yeah, this is the place i was coming to alright. I went up to the international affairs building, and attempted to have a conversation with the head organizer for my exchange program. I think i got the gist maybe (...?) of what we spoke about. We sorted out some peripheral things, and then i dumped my stuff into the dormitory. I got shown the ropes. There are a lot of bewildering rules; such as organising rubbish into burnable bins, aluminium bins, PET bottle bins, or organic bins, wearing sandals inside, and you have to notify everyone when you go in and out by turning a tile with your name on it around on a billboard put aside for that purpose. I got my stuff sorted and went to the south gate; i had walked past it before and seen traffic wardens directing motorists and students around. I leant on the counter, and asked the attendant as best as i could;
"excuse me, how do you go to the judo classroom?"
"oh, you mean the institute for the way of war?"
....eep.
I went in and had a look. At the time the womens' club was training. Ther would have to have been at least 100 women on the mat. Just off the mat, there were physiotherapists and other people attending to player's injuries and questions. I could see that there were some Norwegian male players watching off to the side a bit, they looked tough; cauliflower ears, no knecks. All of the women, their movements looked pristine. You could just about smell the years of bitter training and frustration on them. In the start of the training, I don't think i saw a single student do a drop seoi nage in more than .5 of a second. I watched this for a while, trying to figure out who was responsible for running all this. Everyone was wearing black belts; so it wasn't really easy to identify who was the teacher. Maybe there wasn't a teacher at all. The Mat wobbled like a water bed, it had been sprung really well.
Some moved so fluidly, so easily i stuggled to beleive that i had spent time learning the same sport they had. It just looked too effortless to be anything i had ever seen before. I was starting to creep out, why had i come here, to this place, to try and train in this building? I am going to die.
And then a moth flew onto the mat.
The players all freaked out, and ran away from it. No one wanted to be within 5 metres of the thing, and as it was flying around erratically, so too was everyone on the mat frantically trying to avoid it. It was almost like a Monty Python skit or something; watching people switch from complete hardarses to being frightened of an insect in so quick a timeframe. If i wasnt so stressed out from it all i would have laughed at the slapstick.
But this comforted me quite a lot. They may be unbelievably skilled, they may have spent more time on Judo than you ever could, but remember that they are still human; they still feel fear, just as you do. No matter how good it all looks, don't forget that they still are and always were; people.
 |
| Welcome to the mouth of the rabbit hole |
I can't read Japanese well enough to tell you whats going on in this poster, but i think i can read "men's judo department" and "All Japan Student Judo".... something something. Yeah, this is the place i was coming to alright. I went up to the international affairs building, and attempted to have a conversation with the head organizer for my exchange program. I think i got the gist maybe (...?) of what we spoke about. We sorted out some peripheral things, and then i dumped my stuff into the dormitory. I got shown the ropes. There are a lot of bewildering rules; such as organising rubbish into burnable bins, aluminium bins, PET bottle bins, or organic bins, wearing sandals inside, and you have to notify everyone when you go in and out by turning a tile with your name on it around on a billboard put aside for that purpose. I got my stuff sorted and went to the south gate; i had walked past it before and seen traffic wardens directing motorists and students around. I leant on the counter, and asked the attendant as best as i could;
"excuse me, how do you go to the judo classroom?"
"oh, you mean the institute for the way of war?"
....eep.
 |
| The front gate to the Budokan |
I went in and had a look. At the time the womens' club was training. Ther would have to have been at least 100 women on the mat. Just off the mat, there were physiotherapists and other people attending to player's injuries and questions. I could see that there were some Norwegian male players watching off to the side a bit, they looked tough; cauliflower ears, no knecks. All of the women, their movements looked pristine. You could just about smell the years of bitter training and frustration on them. In the start of the training, I don't think i saw a single student do a drop seoi nage in more than .5 of a second. I watched this for a while, trying to figure out who was responsible for running all this. Everyone was wearing black belts; so it wasn't really easy to identify who was the teacher. Maybe there wasn't a teacher at all. The Mat wobbled like a water bed, it had been sprung really well.
Some moved so fluidly, so easily i stuggled to beleive that i had spent time learning the same sport they had. It just looked too effortless to be anything i had ever seen before. I was starting to creep out, why had i come here, to this place, to try and train in this building? I am going to die.
And then a moth flew onto the mat.
The players all freaked out, and ran away from it. No one wanted to be within 5 metres of the thing, and as it was flying around erratically, so too was everyone on the mat frantically trying to avoid it. It was almost like a Monty Python skit or something; watching people switch from complete hardarses to being frightened of an insect in so quick a timeframe. If i wasnt so stressed out from it all i would have laughed at the slapstick.
But this comforted me quite a lot. They may be unbelievably skilled, they may have spent more time on Judo than you ever could, but remember that they are still human; they still feel fear, just as you do. No matter how good it all looks, don't forget that they still are and always were; people.
 |
| I saw some guy looking at this during training, so it has some significance, but i don't know what. |
 | |
| All the olympic players that had trained at this club. |
I asked someone when the men's classes were on, and found out it was the next day. I watched that class too. The training looks completely gruelling; 1/2 hour warm up, 2 hours of randoori. Every weekday. I tried asking someone, if it would be cool if i tried out participating. The language barrier was too far between us; i got an explanation why it wasn't convenient at this time. I found out later that a major comp was on in Saitama in the weekend, and that their training was focusing on that date. I asked...
"can i come on another appointment?"
..And the guy i spoke to seemed to say yes. Sweet! I am going to get the beating of my life. Everyone in this club was chosen because they performed well in their highschool days, or elsewhere. I just showed up and asked if i could come on. So i've heard that when going about entering such a judo club; if you do it the wrong way, it will create a lot of animosity for the students that worked hard to get there. I am basically going to be target practice on my first training, which i think is Monday at 5pm. Ah well; i said i wanted to train at Tokai; i want to find out if i meant it.
 |
| They have ropes and tires lying around the side for the use of training. Everyone looked completely ripped. |
 |
| No idea whats going on in this poster, but im pretty sure it must have been for the comp in Saitama. |
Friday 12 September 2014
A film clip proposition just for the funzies
Just for the fun of it, i wanna write a film clip for this song. I wanna see if i could encapsulate the feeling you get when you hit "the zone" so to speak. Its about one of the few times in my life where i have done Judo. So please, listen to this song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmfzWpp0hMc
Follow its path, notice how its changes and where it leads, and then read this. I want to attempt to show what it feels like.
Ok, so the scene, is; two guys walk up to each other, facing each other from the other side of a judo ring. They bow and the music hits. the camera is all focused on one player, so it will come in and out of their vision depending on what the intended vibe is. (2nd person, 1st person sort of shots.)
(start-1.07)
Survival. The other player is good, and for each attack that the protagonist sends, he gets 6 back. Our guy is doing all he can to remain standing. Imagine trying to stand in a moving train that doesn't want you to stand. The camera angle dips sideways to get this across.
(1.07-2.01)
Our guy has survived for long enough to take stock of what is actually going on; and is starting to strategize. In his mind he can visualize at least 8 judo attacks that his opponent has used. Each appear before his vision (in 1st person) as a spinning model performing the throw on him, before minimizing like a computer window into the corner of the screen. Each throw has its own allocated color, represented by a trail on the mat in a broad dotted line that curves across the floor. As there are many throws, there are many of these lines, all of which are starting to tangle into a confusing mess. They are all moving, squirming as if alive. Think of looking at a bath full of severed octopus tentacles, that's the kind of movement I'm looking for. And they all move in curved lines, like rust shavings on a bar magnet, from the other guys hands to our guy.
(2.01- 2.22)
And the thing is, our guy's mental projection of all these lines, is happening in real time. Meanwhile, his opponent is still throwing attacks at him.By noticing all of this, our guy is wasting time. So now, he is dodging both the other guy, and all the squirming lines on the floor. imagine that game "fly" (the game where you jump over the shoes) if at the same time people were trying to tackle you.
(2.22- 2.39)
Out comes the drop Seoi nage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJQeVvR3e_Y&t=0m37s
This fries our guys mental simulation; there are red flashing warning signs everywhere; so many that you can't really see what is going on. He clicks through most of them; and behind it is the other guy doing that throw on our guy. He only just steps off it and gets around the throw, out of immediate danger, but is clearly rattled.
(2.39 - 3.15)
Again; survival. all the lines are squirming around the protagonist, and he's having to duck and weave around warning signs of the last throw thrown at him. The Seoi nage is represented by a small black hole that the other guy can pull out and suck him into at any time. He keeps doing it; keeps summoning this miniature black hole that our guy cannot block but can only surf around the gravity of. Each time he does this he gets nearer and nearer to it, but doesn't get sucked in, although its clear it's taking all of his effort to avoid it.
(3.15- 3.56)
There seems to be an emerging pattern in all the mess of other throws lines on the floor, and the black holes that the other guy keeps throwing. Think of the intense timing obstacles in some of the harder levels of Mario. Our guy, he's watching the floor, watching the other guy, and maps out his moment and his attack. he goes in for Ko uchi gari,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9DnkH-2tGg&t=0m6s….
(3.56- 4.29)
…and gets countered with De ashi harai.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmVCbY0ZkLU&t=0m7s
The camera is in first person, and our guy understands clearly he has lost. He mistimed his moment, or didn't do something right, and is now spinning vertically in the middle of the air in slow motion. He seems calm; knowing it is all over; he is resigned to lose. All the warning signs and spaghetti lines disappear, and whatever system was running them crashes, to be replaced by the blue screen of death. The system shudders, flickers out and reboots into DOS. But then suddenly, from the cameras point of view, the camera turns away from being pointed directly at the ceiling and starts to rotate away from the axis of the throw. In green screen DOS, lines start measuring the angle, and run down to our guys left foot, which stamps down and counters with this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLcaT8HATRA&t=0m4s
(4.29- 4.58.)
Our guy has landed on top of the other guy, and moves into ground work. This shouldn't be possible from the other guys attack; the other guy is surprised and was caught off guard. The camera cuts to the pair standing again, and our guy is moving fast, fluidly, without any of the spaghetti lines or black holes. The past operating system that ran them fried, its all green screen and crappy pixels now. To each one attack the other guy sends, our guy gives 4 or 5 back.
(4.58- 5.25)
Our guy is too high off adrenaline to know his own name. The camera focuses on the pair fighting, in black and white silhouettes, like sin city. Our guy is kinda crouched and looks a bit like a werewolf; elongated face, weird 45 degree upward attacks from the ground, which the other guy is desperately fending off. They spin around each other, in profile, and keep doing this.
(5.25 - 5.52)
Our guy has come down from the adrenaline enough to realize what is going on. He can see the whites of his opponents eyes. His face is still kinda too long to be human (think Professor Lupin from Harry Potter transitioning under the moon, but this time the other way around, transitioning back into a human). He's got the advantage and he knows it. He's pushing his opponent into a mental corner.
(5.52- end)
Times up. There's 15 seconds left on the clock. On the edge of each ring there is a digital clock; each completely blocking off that side. The ring is essentially a closed off box. Every second that ticks down, the digital panels that change to represent a different number don't disappear, but drop to the ground and shatter like glass. There is black glass spraying everywhere from the ends of each ring. Our guy knows that if he is to win this, he must do it now. He shapes a Koshi garuma,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJsQrgMhgk4&t=0m4s
which the other guy moves to avoid. That moment freezes for about 3 seconds; you can see immobile spraying black broken glass, towering clocks, and both the the players bodies frozen into the positions thew were in. This is it; this is Eminems single shot; there wont be another. Our guy gets a 15 symbol combo of buttons moving underneath the bottom edge of the screen, (think like nailing a combo move in the practice mode in Tekken, or the various buttons you have to step on in Dance Dance Revolution) nails each button, and throws the other for O soto gari,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydqoWM0dhYA&t=0m23s
...and falls through the floor with him. the final shot is of the broken glass falling down toward the camera, like the bullets in that scene from the matrix where Neo is shooting into the building with the mini gun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmfzWpp0hMc
Follow its path, notice how its changes and where it leads, and then read this. I want to attempt to show what it feels like.
Ok, so the scene, is; two guys walk up to each other, facing each other from the other side of a judo ring. They bow and the music hits. the camera is all focused on one player, so it will come in and out of their vision depending on what the intended vibe is. (2nd person, 1st person sort of shots.)
(start-1.07)
Survival. The other player is good, and for each attack that the protagonist sends, he gets 6 back. Our guy is doing all he can to remain standing. Imagine trying to stand in a moving train that doesn't want you to stand. The camera angle dips sideways to get this across.
(1.07-2.01)
Our guy has survived for long enough to take stock of what is actually going on; and is starting to strategize. In his mind he can visualize at least 8 judo attacks that his opponent has used. Each appear before his vision (in 1st person) as a spinning model performing the throw on him, before minimizing like a computer window into the corner of the screen. Each throw has its own allocated color, represented by a trail on the mat in a broad dotted line that curves across the floor. As there are many throws, there are many of these lines, all of which are starting to tangle into a confusing mess. They are all moving, squirming as if alive. Think of looking at a bath full of severed octopus tentacles, that's the kind of movement I'm looking for. And they all move in curved lines, like rust shavings on a bar magnet, from the other guys hands to our guy.
(2.01- 2.22)
And the thing is, our guy's mental projection of all these lines, is happening in real time. Meanwhile, his opponent is still throwing attacks at him.By noticing all of this, our guy is wasting time. So now, he is dodging both the other guy, and all the squirming lines on the floor. imagine that game "fly" (the game where you jump over the shoes) if at the same time people were trying to tackle you.
(2.22- 2.39)
Out comes the drop Seoi nage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJQeVvR3e_Y&t=0m37s
This fries our guys mental simulation; there are red flashing warning signs everywhere; so many that you can't really see what is going on. He clicks through most of them; and behind it is the other guy doing that throw on our guy. He only just steps off it and gets around the throw, out of immediate danger, but is clearly rattled.
(2.39 - 3.15)
Again; survival. all the lines are squirming around the protagonist, and he's having to duck and weave around warning signs of the last throw thrown at him. The Seoi nage is represented by a small black hole that the other guy can pull out and suck him into at any time. He keeps doing it; keeps summoning this miniature black hole that our guy cannot block but can only surf around the gravity of. Each time he does this he gets nearer and nearer to it, but doesn't get sucked in, although its clear it's taking all of his effort to avoid it.
(3.15- 3.56)
There seems to be an emerging pattern in all the mess of other throws lines on the floor, and the black holes that the other guy keeps throwing. Think of the intense timing obstacles in some of the harder levels of Mario. Our guy, he's watching the floor, watching the other guy, and maps out his moment and his attack. he goes in for Ko uchi gari,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9DnkH-2tGg&t=0m6s….
(3.56- 4.29)
…and gets countered with De ashi harai.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmVCbY0ZkLU&t=0m7s
The camera is in first person, and our guy understands clearly he has lost. He mistimed his moment, or didn't do something right, and is now spinning vertically in the middle of the air in slow motion. He seems calm; knowing it is all over; he is resigned to lose. All the warning signs and spaghetti lines disappear, and whatever system was running them crashes, to be replaced by the blue screen of death. The system shudders, flickers out and reboots into DOS. But then suddenly, from the cameras point of view, the camera turns away from being pointed directly at the ceiling and starts to rotate away from the axis of the throw. In green screen DOS, lines start measuring the angle, and run down to our guys left foot, which stamps down and counters with this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLcaT8HATRA&t=0m4s
(4.29- 4.58.)
Our guy has landed on top of the other guy, and moves into ground work. This shouldn't be possible from the other guys attack; the other guy is surprised and was caught off guard. The camera cuts to the pair standing again, and our guy is moving fast, fluidly, without any of the spaghetti lines or black holes. The past operating system that ran them fried, its all green screen and crappy pixels now. To each one attack the other guy sends, our guy gives 4 or 5 back.
(4.58- 5.25)
Our guy is too high off adrenaline to know his own name. The camera focuses on the pair fighting, in black and white silhouettes, like sin city. Our guy is kinda crouched and looks a bit like a werewolf; elongated face, weird 45 degree upward attacks from the ground, which the other guy is desperately fending off. They spin around each other, in profile, and keep doing this.
(5.25 - 5.52)
Our guy has come down from the adrenaline enough to realize what is going on. He can see the whites of his opponents eyes. His face is still kinda too long to be human (think Professor Lupin from Harry Potter transitioning under the moon, but this time the other way around, transitioning back into a human). He's got the advantage and he knows it. He's pushing his opponent into a mental corner.
(5.52- end)
Times up. There's 15 seconds left on the clock. On the edge of each ring there is a digital clock; each completely blocking off that side. The ring is essentially a closed off box. Every second that ticks down, the digital panels that change to represent a different number don't disappear, but drop to the ground and shatter like glass. There is black glass spraying everywhere from the ends of each ring. Our guy knows that if he is to win this, he must do it now. He shapes a Koshi garuma,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJsQrgMhgk4&t=0m4s
which the other guy moves to avoid. That moment freezes for about 3 seconds; you can see immobile spraying black broken glass, towering clocks, and both the the players bodies frozen into the positions thew were in. This is it; this is Eminems single shot; there wont be another. Our guy gets a 15 symbol combo of buttons moving underneath the bottom edge of the screen, (think like nailing a combo move in the practice mode in Tekken, or the various buttons you have to step on in Dance Dance Revolution) nails each button, and throws the other for O soto gari,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydqoWM0dhYA&t=0m23s
...and falls through the floor with him. the final shot is of the broken glass falling down toward the camera, like the bullets in that scene from the matrix where Neo is shooting into the building with the mini gun.
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